Moving to Transition ...

We got word on Friday that Alexander will be moving up to the Transition room in June. I feel like he just got to the Older Infant room, I also feel as if he could still use some time in the Older Infant room before going in with the bigger kids. Kids in the Transition room are walking 100% on their own. They also take naps on mats. Speaking of, I also learned that kids in the Transition room only take one nap a day. EEEKK! I'm not ready for him to loose his 2nd nap providing he'll still take it. However, there is one girl in there (who's only a few months older than Alexander) who will occasionally take a 2nd nap in the afternoon.

It's good that he's moving that means he's developing well but it seems just when we really start to bond with his teachers and get a good pattern/schedule going, it's time to move. But that is life! His friend Aidan will move over the following month so that will be good for both of them that they will pretty much be in the same class together. Another good thing about moving is that tuition will be a bit cheaper, not much but cheaper is better. I just hope he's a full-fledge walker so he's not stumbling and the only one not walking.

Twenty One Weeks

Wow - our little guy is already Twenty One Weeks old... and next week he'll be 5 months! You people sure don't lie when you say that time flies by! I can't believe how quickly it all went. But it's all been so much fun & I wouldn't change a thing.

Well ... okay... that's a lie.

I'd change the sleeping part. Especially this week. For some unknown reason, our boy wanted to get up and play @ 3am. THREE! Do you know how early that is? Especially when you've woken up every hour because he's coughing or crying... Yesterday, Dan & I were zombies. Alexander was up at 2:45am and just wouldn't go back to bed. Dan took him for 30 mins, and then I took him for 30 mins. Finally, Alexander fell asleep around 4a but his head popped back up at exactly 4:41am. I know because I was awake and I watched it. The morning before was just as bad. We weren't really looking forward to another night like that. Man, this kid sure is an early riser.

However, we were fortunate that Alexander slept for approx 10 hours last night. He went to bed around 7:30pm (which he put up a fight, something he never does) and woke up around 5:30am. Dan said he checked on him twice but Alexander didn't make a peep all night! Ahhhh glorious 7 hours of sleep for me!

Besides the sleeping, I'm also happy to report that his cold is gone. We haven't used the AC in his room so that really leads me to believe that the AC makes him sick. So he's been living just like his pauper parents - with a fan! But he doesn't seem to mind it at all, he seems comfortable. That is when he does sleep.

Another item to note is that we have been going to daycare for just over 8 weeks now and we've already been told of a tuition increase. How much does that stink?? Thankfully it's not a huge increase per month, but it's still an increase. They originally sent out the news that every family would have to sign a yearly contract Sept-Sept but tuition would be prorated for 10 months. That would have initally meant our tuition would have increased by $300 A MONTH. But we would then not have to pay for July & August. They must have gotten a lot of feedback because they're now offering the option of 10 or 12 month options. I'd rather pay a little more a month all year then $300 extra a month but with 2 months off.

The joys of daycare... it's a good thing I know he's doing very well there and that Miss Linda loves taking care of him. Otherwise, I'd be even more miserable about this whole daycare thing.

Also, I want to thank everyone who posted and sent me emails of condolences for my aunt. That was very sweet of you for remembering me and my family during this time. She meant alot to my family and she will be missed.

Clothes Swap...

It happened - the moment I was dreading at daycare - "Clothes Swap"!! Or at least I thought it did.

(Step back for a moment) February 21: We were at dinner on my birthday discussing daycare and Alyson was telling a story about her friend Holly and how her daughter came home one day in someone else's clothes. This freaked me out! I didn't want to hear it and the thought of it truly freaked me out. Didn't want to think that this could potentially happen to Alexander.

(Present time) Yesterday: I arrived to pick up Alexander at school around 5:10pm and it was quiet. I walk towards the infant room to see Miss Linda walking out with the Sesame Street toy but no Alexander in sight. She must have sense my moment of panic because she told me that he was in the next room with the older infants since he was the last baby to be picked up today. She brought him over to the older infant room so he could play in there and she could help Miss Lizzie with the other babies. He was lying on a boppy pillow looking at an aquarium type toy.

She picked him up to bring over to me and I had an internal freak out. I had the following conversation in my head: "That was NOT the outfit we put him in that morning. Okay, he could have needed to be changed, but THOSE WERE NOT the clothes I put in his basket. Those aren't his! He does not have flowers on his pants! My god not only is he not in his own clothes, but he's wearing flowers and they're too small!"

What was I going to do? Say something? Look like a crazy person? She told me that they had to change him because he did a big poop. "Ok". I took him from Miss Linda and walked into the infant room so I could put him in his car seat. I did a quick check of his tags to see if his initials were there because Auntie Alyson put his initials in the extra set of clothes. I couldn't find his initials. AHHHH. Who's clothes were these? Oh wait, are those initials? A.C.C.
Whew!! Mommy was starting to relax. And at a closer look at his clothes they weren't flowers but little animals. But the pants are definitely too short. He was wearing his own clothes and his other outfit was in a plastic bag in his school bag. All is well. Mommy's freak out was over but what a fast rollercoaster ride! And I didn't even have to pay for the ride.

Oh wait - yes I did - July's tuition! :)

I did notice that he had what appeared to be oatmeal in his hair (ick) so he got a quick scrub down when we got home. Then we did some playing up in his room. I put him on his tummy and he did very well. He didn't grunt for it to be over like he normally does. He actually would scoot forward and he seemed to have learned to pull the blanket towards him to get the toys to be closer. CLEVER. While he was on his tummy, he rolled over and I got it with the camera, so I'll have to upload the 'action shots' tonight.

Mid-day Check-in

Today is Day four at daycare and so far so good. Well at least from Alexander's perspective.

I dropped him off this morning after a fairly good car ride (not a lot of crying). I made sure to take him out of his carseat before they did so I could give him a hug & a kiss before I left. He was very content, so I left before I cried as I could feel my voice crack saying goodbye.

This morning dragged at work, but I was actually doing some work and catching up on things & people. My aunt stopped by to see how I was doing and she happened to stop by at a time when I was already a bit weepy so when she asked how I was holding up, I cried at my desk. But I fully expected that to happen and I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner.

Since I was a bit down, I decided that I would go visit him during lunch. I got there at the end of a bottle so I was able to finish feeding him which made me much more relaxed. Then I played with him for another 10 minutes but he looked sleepy so I didn't try to bounce him around too much.

I put him under the Sesame Street and headed back to work. Let's see how the afternoon goes

Daycare: Day Three

The first full day of daycare is done & over with. Alexander did wonderful. Everyone keeps commenting how beautiful he is and what a good baby he is. Everything we already knew. However, I did tell them to watch out for his afternoon fussiness, then they'll see all sides of him.

Well, the kid knows how to make me look silly because he wasn't fussy at all this afternoon. In fact, he played with his Sesame Street people again. He even took a 3 hour nap in the morning. Are we sure this is our kid??? I may have to tattoo him to give him a 'birthmark' to make sure they're not swapping out kids. I JEST!!!

But in all seriousness, as much as I don't want to be working, I have to say that daycare is a very nice place and the people are very sweet and taking good care of Alexander. They love having him there and it's evident. Plus, he's the cutest baby there! There is one cute little girl but the other babies don't even come close to the level of Alexander's cuteness. Hell, one baby is nick-named "Virginia Ham" by her parents because she eats all the time and the huge melon of a head doesn't help.

My first day back was very weird. I walked up the stairs as if it was a brand new job at a new place that I didn't really want to work at but I said yes anyway. You would never know that I've been there for 7 years. I was so disoriented, I almost forgot how I get to my office. And when I got there, I didn't know what to do first. My team was very sweet, asking me how I was and that they were going to throw me back into the thick of things to help take my mind off things. They even got me a card & a cake to welcome me back. I got good peeps. However, everyone else would ask me how sad I was and how I probably didn't want to be there so it made it that much harder because I'd answer them truthfully.

I only cried a few times, a lot less than I thought I would. And no one saw. I also used our 'nursing' room for the first time when I went to go pump. So much for privacy because some woman just walked right in to pick up stuff she left there earlier. Oh joy. I also didn't go visit him at lunch because then I knew I would just go straight home with him. But overall, I felt miserable & empty all day even though I kept trying to think of something else.

The best part of my day was walking into daycare to pick him up. I couldn't get him out of the swing he was in fast enough. Then we headed home, had ourselves a bath for some quality swim time, and off to bed. I'm hoping since we started bedtime a bit later due to the bath, he may sleep longer. Fingers crossed.

Day Four tomorrow. I hope not to do a daycare update everyday, maybe through this week, because that will just keep reminding me that I'm working vs not being with him. My boss is out tomorrow & Friday but he was very cool & understanding. He told me that if I needed to leave early or take a 2nd lunch over the next few weeks to not even worry about it. So we'll see how it goes.

Mom, thanks for sending me the pretty flowers to help me get through the day. It was very thoughtful!

Daycare: Day Two

I've survived Day Two of Daycare. For some reason, today was much harder a) than yesterday and b) than I expected.

I dropped him off and as I was putting away his bottles Miss Linda was taking him out of his carseat and getting ready to feed him. Well okay then. Guess she helped make a decision for me as to whether or not I would stay around for a bit, I couldn't bare to watch her feed him again. So I decided to go finish my errands that I needed to finish since I will no longer have the days to myself.

I headed to the post office to mail out the invitations for his christening and then I went next door and opened up a Savings Account for Alexander. We still plan on opening a 529 for him and maybe even a real account with ING for him (higher interest), but I wanted him to have his own bank account where he could "see & touch" his money via a passbook rather than online. I remember thinking how cool it was when I was a kid. Then it was off to Kohl's for a return before heading into Boston to meet my parents for lunch.

While at Kohl's I was starting to crash mentally. I couldn't stop thinking of Alexander and how I missed just making him smile. I was hoping he was napping so I wouldn't be missing much. I was now debating going to lunch or going to pick him up because I didn't know how much more I wanted to do this. But I told myself that it would be a good thing to go to lunch. It would be a nice distraction hanging with my parents & being in Boston would be a plus. Not only that it would help kill time before I would go get him.

I'm glad I went because it was nice to hang out with my parents and it was an upbeat lunch so I didn't cry as I was afraid I would. Plus, I got to drive around a neighborhood I have never seen and I fell in love. Big, old houses with an amazing view of the skyline....ahhhh, if only we had that kind of money. (If only - I wouldn't be posting about daycare)

Then I headed back towards daycare and decided to fill out my journal before going to get him to give enough time for a feeding. I got to daycare at almost 2:30 and he was just finishing a bottle. And Miss Linda informed me that he had a visitor during lunchtime. Daddy came to visit him. Isn't that sweet?? Unfortunately for daddy, Alexander was napping. But yah that Alexander was napping!!

Alexander had a great day at daycare again. Miss Linda loves him. He took two naps for almost 3 hours total. He's still feeding around every 2 1/2 hours, but they said he was very content today and played again with his Sesame Street friends.

I think tomorrow will be the true test seeing as how it'll be the whole day and I don't have the thought in my head that I can go get him anytime like I did today and yesterday. Not only that, I know I'll talk about him all day with people at work, so I'm hoping that won't make me miss him more.

Let's hope there are less tears on day three...

Daycare: Day One

Day one has come & gone. That has to have been the hardest thing, by far, I've ever had to do. I've been told it gets easier and I really hope it's true because I don't think I can do this every day.

It started last night when I was trying to make up bottles. I couldn't bring myself to make them up. Everytime I would start with the first one, I would break down crying. I'm sure this sounds severe & almost crazy as millions of people put their babies in daycare every day. But when you've wanted something so much for 25 years (being a full time mom), it's hard to give that up after only 12 weeks. It pains me knowing that I won't spend the majority of the time with Alexander but people at work. But as Dan put it to try to ease my mind, I have to look at this as if it were school and something he has to do rather than 'daycare'.

Finally, I got the bottles made but I kept putting off going to bed. If I didn't go to sleep then Monday morning wouldn't come. Clearly I was lacking logic. We had a good night where Alexander slept for 7 hours, woke up to nurse & fell back to sleep. Sidenote: I do have to say that for a child that would not sleep the first 10 weeks of his life except in our bed - he's done exceptionally well in his crib.

Dan helped get things ready this morning to help make things easier. We were ready to go by 7:20am. As I was driving to daycare, I was listening to a local radio station who was a segment called "Right Now" where they ask callers to call in to tell them what's going on right now. I decided what the heck...I called up & surprisingly got thru! I told Matty & Billy that I was bringing my newborn son to daycare for the first time. They made a few comments about the baby being sick from now on and that he will have ear infections weekly. They also tried to make a few cheap shots at my husband. I wasn't on long but long enough to take my mind off of the what I was doing because now I was thinking about what jokes Matty & Billy were making.

We got to daycare where Dan met us there. Everyone who saw him raved about how adorable he was and they were surprised at how alert he was. We walked back to the infant room to meet the ladies & his new friends at school. We got set up with his different totes for clothes, blankets, diapers, bottles, food, etc. We put a sheet on his crib & I was happy that he did not get the crib in front of the clown painted on the wall.

I was going to stay today to help everyone get to know Alexander. But the fact that I couldn't do anything with Alexander because they wanted to learn his actions & cues, was worse than putting him in daycare. I was going to change his diaper but they wouldn't let me, they wanted to. But the thing that did me in was watching the lady feed him. UGHHHH. At that point, I decided that I couldn't sit there and watch other people hold, feed, & play with him. It was making me cry. I left daycare @ 10am and told them that I would be back later on so that he could get adjusted. I couldn't take it but I didn't tell them that, in fact I wonder what they thought because I just sat there with a grin on my face (fake obviously to help keep me composed). When I got to my car, I cried. I think I cried for 20 mins before I was able to call Dan.

I ran errands for 4 hours and at that point, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to go back and get him. I did plan it a little in my timing. I wanted to make sure he would have eaten so I wouldn't be picking him up and driving the poor little guy home hungry. Sure enough that when I got there, he was finishing up a bottle.

The ladies said that he did exceptionally well and that everyone loves him - of course! A few girls from other rooms came over to take a peak at him because they heard that the new baby is SO CUTE. He took a nap in his crib for over an hour and he was playing with some Sesame Street toys that had him laughing up a storm. So again, Alexander did better than Mommy did at his first day. But I don't think that's a surprise to anyone.

I was so much happier when I put him in my car knowing that we were going home. We came home, had something to eat and took a walk. Some needed quality time.

Tomorrow may be just as tough. I'll drop him off in the morning, and then come get him at some point. I'm not sure what time I'll make it to so we'll just have to wait & see. Wednesday's the full test since he'll be there all day and they'll get to witness his afternoon fussiness.

I'm just hoping that I don't break down again after leaving him there because that was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And hopefully it does get easier so I sound less like a crazed lunatic not willing to ever part with my child, even when he goes to college.

Bittersweet...

Twelve weeks already... time is not standing still as I hoped it would. Twelve Weeks is a bittersweet time frame for me.

*At Twelve Weeks, my little boy is no longer considered a newborn but an infant or baby.

*At Twelve Weeks, my little guy is going to start doing all sorts of new & wonderful things.

*At Twelve Weeks, my little baby-cake will continue to be the most amazing creature.

*At the end of twelve weeks, my child will have to go to daycare.

The thought alone gives me hives. I know I have to suck it up and deal with this, but I really don't want to. I know he's going but I don't have to like it. I know we both need to work, but I don't have to like this either. The thought of someone else watching my child and experiencing more 'firsts' with him breaks my heart. I actually got mad today when I thought that some woman named Linda would be changing his diaper. Linda is probably a very nice woman, but she's going to be hogging my time and I don't have to like it. Again, I have to deal with it, but I don't have to like it. And I have a feeling I won't like it one bit.